2003

I feel obliged to create a list relative to last year’s accomplishments and next year’s expectations… I’ve always had trouble seeing the coming of a new year as a STOP and a START.

Events, good and bad – leave a mark on your existence – no matter how insignificant they may be perceived.

If I’m a monster,
I am a willing one
this roller coaster ride
is an enticing one
on the tip of a continuum flowing wavelike through disorder
carry me like a vessel to water

everything you see leaves a mark on your soul,
everything you feel leaves a mark on your soul,
everything you touch leaves a mark on your soul
everything you make leaves a mark on your soul

If I can touch it
I can destroy it,
if it’s imaginable to some degree,
I can become it.
like a hungry turning vortex that just
flickers to existence
consuming bits and pieces until I’m finally
extinguished

everyone you see leaves a mark on your soul
everyone you bare leaves a mark on your soul
everyone you touch leaves a mark on your soul,
everyone you love leaves a mark on your soul

everything you take leaves a mark on your soul
everything you give leaves a mark on your soul,
and all the fear and loneliness that’s impossible
to control

and every tear you cry leaves a mark on your soul

(*big south-cal, abrupt punk ending)

2003 notable marks on my soul:

• Buying the first house I’m really crazy about.

• Surgical recovery – experiencing pain like I’ve never felt before.

• Proof (my cholesterol tests) that if given the opportunity and without intervention, my body will betray me. I am mortal.

• Feeling closer to my dad than I ever had before.

• Feeling further away from my mom than I ever had before.

• Trading the Volvo for a VW… My ego doesn’t need to be defined by a car.

• Declaring independence from social circles and organizations.

• Loving. And being loved back. My bears.

oh yeah.. and:

• Not Blogging