I had no idea the caregiver role could be so consuming / draining… (physically and emotionally). I mean really – I thought… “sure… piece of cake… dad’s got cancer *and* broadband internet… I’ll just work over there during the day and look after him.”
How incredibly naive.
Until you’ve gone through the process of sitting with someone you care about who’s being medically and radiologically poisoned from the inside-out -… you’ll just won’t understand….. and for your sake:
Pray you never do.
Throw in there pop’s off-the-shelf arsenal of pre-existing mind-fuck maladies and – well —-
I just feel pretty empty, used up and emotionally fatigued.
The news after 2 months of aggressive chemo and radiation is:
there is no news…
nothings spread… but nothings shrank either…. The med-oncologist used the term “contained”.
I still haven’t heard a peep about a prognosis… radiation oncologist intimated that surgery will not be an option.
Med-Onc wants to do 2 more rounds of 96 hour chemo.. potentially staring this Friday if his blood counts are high enough…. This will take us through the holidays…. Merry Christmas.
Speaking of – the guys started seasonalizing the house…. I wax grinch about holidrek in general… but do like all the lights and stuff….
Mission accomplished – they got me to smile a little when I got back from dad’s yesterday… it looks like an elf threw up in the house.
xmas decorations, already?
Ran to the four corners of the city yesterday checking in with clients… which – for a modestly scaled town such as STL doesn’t say much.
There’s a surge in projects including a fairly substantial, yet drowsily corporate one from that agency I interviewed with. They’ve put me on their “preferred vendor” list. This means, metaphorically, that I’m now allowed to sit on the floor under the table and catch the meat-scraps that fall to the floor from their feasting on multi-ga-gillion dollar accounts…. fine by me – at least down here I can cattily judge them based on footwear choice.
I’m starting to see Chirstmas stuff all over the place.
My eyes are burning from not blinking… for I know when I do, it will be 2005.
I’m not blogging.
Shameless, pet power dyke.
Geoffrey, ghetto-drag fabulous coworker of chad’s. (previously not-blogged in trip to Chicago)
xenohomo and MML Mark
and the three bears.
Oxygen Sampling (thanks Dad)
The welcoming of a new year.
So as I’m hanging up Christmas Cards I notice one I didn’t catch while batch opening… The envelope had the forward sticker on it from our old address. A whacky card signed by “Elise… Your Mystery Friend”…
Elise and I became friends when she worked for me as my business manager at my first design company venture right out of college. After the business crashed and my old business partner and I went our separate ways, Elise and I remained friends.
She had her first baby and I cycled through relationships and we fell out of touch.
For the past three or four years, we’d talk about once a year on the phone.
The card got me giggling and then I realized… “Wait a second… Since we’ve moved to Crestwood, she only lives right down the street!!!!”
Elise defies description. Spunky… Genuine…. Frighteningly intelligent…. Whacky as hell.
We rang her up, and decided it must be a sign and we MUST get together.
She came over, her baby now a young boy in tow.
We bedazzled the kid by showing him the PS2, XBox AND GameCube and told him the whole entertainment system was his and us grown ups took to the new dining room to down Shiraz, nibble cheese and devour each other’s much missed company.
Even-though we haven’t seen each other in three years – it was like we just got together last week. Elise is just one of those friends.
We had a great time – and wound up taking the party down the street to her house once it was little Andy’s bedtime.
New Years Resolution:
and No Blogging.