lap-topless entertainment

Appraiser lady came yesterday… I thought it was supposed to be today – so when her call came in explaining how she was running late and she’d be here in about 20 minutes it was something of an all out Benny Hill skit. (less the topless women).

On her approach to the door Kevin and I eyed her up trying to decide if we should play the gay card or not.

I hate that – but at the same time love that kind of social flexibility… With the restructuring of one single sentence – you can change the entire tone of your interaction.

So what would it be… “Hi,… Yes.. I’m Jim and this is my, urrr (grunt) roommate”.

Or

“Hi.. Yes.. I’m Jim and this is my partner Kevin.”

*Chad was at work – and thankfully so – because there’s the “hetero roomy card”, “the gay card” – but you really can’t play the “hi these are my two life partners card” – that’s just too freaky.

I introduced Kevin as my partner, the woman deflated, and the rest of the appraisal was spent campilly discussing furniture and mid-century modern architecture.

Sure.. I fagged it up a bit with the intention of charming her…

Kevin: “yes.. The kitchen is new, but it’s not great.”
Monkey: “Oh now honey – the bank only cares it’s a NEW kitchen and not about how the pissy fags who inhabit the house think it’s dreadful”

I sometimes feel sorta guilty wrapping the art of persuasion and advancing my own agendas in the gift-wrap of stereo-typical faggotry. It somehow feels like I’m disrespecting the guys out there who are, by nature, screaming queens.

Is this socially unethical?

These are the types of questions I wind up ruminating about way too long when you’re cramped up in the back bedroom of a 50’s ranch.

I still haven’t received my replacement PowerBook and surely I am starting to go INSANE.

Apple reassures and says – “soon”

Meanwhile – I’m a laptopless dancer riding a greased pole in a dirty East Saint Louis dive.

Now put down that blog and let me give you a lap dance.