I pooped.

a lot.

yeah… *blush* – it’s a stark 3…. I think this qualifies as as super gay.

meanwhile:

Ideas for and techniques for squatting in public toilets:

in office buildings:
Always keep your briefcase with you… maybe even a clipboard, (somehow they still convey an air of purpose even in the 21st Century). Proceed directly to the bathroom on that floor without making eye contact with anyone… If you must ask someone where the bathroom is – continuously look at your watch or fidget with your cell phone to imply you’re late for an appointment.

in restaurants:
Walk in and look around like you lost your dog… When greeted by the hostess, (don’t make eye contact – continue looking around helplessly) – tell him/her that you’re supposed to meet a group of friends for (insert appropriate meal here)…. pause for a moment – long enough for the host / hostess to start offering suggestions like ordering a drink or getting a table – but cut them off with a sigh and asking where their restroom is…. go do your thing – once out – return to the front of the restaurant and look around (more) nervously… place your cell phone to your head and proceed to have a conversation, with no-one, about being at the meeting place and nobody being there yet… Act like you’re having trouble hearing by placing your free hand over your free ear… Do this and head for the door… Once outside – get in your car and go.

in gas stations:
pretty much don’t need to put on airs… but if your karma is fragile – buy a Slushie on your way out.