Category Archives: OBSESS

monk’s staircase

A lot of times when Elise comes over on weekend nights to hang out we’ll wind up all googling “something” and loosing ourselves (collectively) looking whatever up for a few hours.

Last night was geodesic dome homes…. yeah – kinda random I know.

I still don’t think I could live in one without feeling like I was in a 1970’s sci-fi movie.

Anyway – what I did see last night that really tickled me was this thing called a “Monk Staircase”…. I didn’t have a lot of luck finding any more examples except for this this one.

I’m sticking it in here because as soon as I can settle on a tagging nomenclature – I want to be able to recall this and try to build one later.

Have I emoted how I long for woodworking skills?

The only serious travesty from my childhood was being deprived (geographically) of my grandfather who was a master carpenter.

There’s got to be a culture out there of other analog-skill-starved 30-somethings who’ve worked in tech most of their lives and dying to learn how a table saw works.

This sounds like an excuse to flip through the community college catalog.

change your mind… change your…


I’ve always been steeped in bitter, secret jealousy of guys like wooferstl who are so completely comfortable with their bodies that they can do stuff like post themselves jay-bird-ass-naked on their weblogs or show up to the bar on a Saturday night wearing assless pants.

Sure – I know how to comment-mine and throw some skin in occasionally when (at least subconsciously) I’m screaming for some sort of sexual validation…. but page back and look… chances are if it shows much of anything – it’s through a heavy blur filter in photoshop.

I wish I could say the cliché diet “before / after” pics above was entirely a “planned” study – but honestly they weren’t.

I took the “before” shot one Saturday afternoon last November when I was toying with the idea of getting a tattoo* to memorialize my father and make some sort of morbid statement about being the last name-bearing male on our branch of the family tree.

*tattoos = a pastime of mine – (planning them not getting them) – since my 20’s… I like to look at this rock-solid, neurotic lack of follow-through as sort of a gift… yeah.. that’s it.

so.. yeah – anyway:

Nothing like having your relatively young father come down with a nasty case of cancer to give you a swift kick in the ass with the mortality boot.

The stress of caregiving… speedy new ADHD meds… a completely new way of looking at food (and consumption in general) along with a sobering assessment of the genetic cards I’ve been dealt – and… wooah… lookie there:

I started loosing weight.

But wait.. it gets worse.

I joined a gym too…

*crickets*

…but not until February… So I figure based on what I’m learning about bodies having about a 3-month lag time, I should post another progress pic sometime in May.

Funny stuff happens when you loose weight in significant numbers…. You notice stuff coming back that you hadn’t noticed left in the first place.

I can touch my toes my palms to the floor.
I can run up a few flights of stairs without getting winded.

… and stuff like that.

The whole “gym-culture” experience has been chock-full of blog fodder as well – but that’d be best explored in a future post.

Figured first I had to stop sitting on these images as I have for the last 30 days feeling self-conscious about sharing them.

So if you want the whole rambling “how’d you do / are doing this” schpiel – it’s behind this cut

bathroom 10


I pooped.

a lot.

yeah… *blush* – it’s a stark 3…. I think this qualifies as as super gay.

meanwhile:

Ideas for and techniques for squatting in public toilets:

in office buildings:
Always keep your briefcase with you… maybe even a clipboard, (somehow they still convey an air of purpose even in the 21st Century). Proceed directly to the bathroom on that floor without making eye contact with anyone… If you must ask someone where the bathroom is – continuously look at your watch or fidget with your cell phone to imply you’re late for an appointment.

in restaurants:
Walk in and look around like you lost your dog… When greeted by the hostess, (don’t make eye contact – continue looking around helplessly) – tell him/her that you’re supposed to meet a group of friends for (insert appropriate meal here)…. pause for a moment – long enough for the host / hostess to start offering suggestions like ordering a drink or getting a table – but cut them off with a sigh and asking where their restroom is…. go do your thing – once out – return to the front of the restaurant and look around (more) nervously… place your cell phone to your head and proceed to have a conversation, with no-one, about being at the meeting place and nobody being there yet… Act like you’re having trouble hearing by placing your free hand over your free ear… Do this and head for the door… Once outside – get in your car and go.

in gas stations:
pretty much don’t need to put on airs… but if your karma is fragile – buy a Slushie on your way out.