I had no idea the caregiver role could be so consuming / draining… (physically and emotionally). I mean really – I thought… “sure… piece of cake… dad’s got cancer *and* broadband internet… I’ll just work over there during the day and look after him.”

How incredibly naive.

Until you’ve gone through the process of sitting with someone you care about who’s being medically and radiologically poisoned from the inside-out -… you’ll just won’t understand….. and for your sake:

Pray you never do.

Throw in there pop’s off-the-shelf arsenal of pre-existing mind-fuck maladies and – well —-

I just feel pretty empty, used up and emotionally fatigued.

The news after 2 months of aggressive chemo and radiation is:

there is no news…

nothings spread… but nothings shrank either…. The med-oncologist used the term “contained”.

I still haven’t heard a peep about a prognosis… radiation oncologist intimated that surgery will not be an option.

Med-Onc wants to do 2 more rounds of 96 hour chemo.. potentially staring this Friday if his blood counts are high enough…. This will take us through the holidays…. Merry Christmas.

Speaking of – the guys started seasonalizing the house…. I wax grinch about holidrek in general… but do like all the lights and stuff….

Mission accomplished – they got me to smile a little when I got back from dad’s yesterday… it looks like an elf threw up in the house.